Women's day in every way

8th of March is celebrated internationally as Women's day to recognize the achievements of women all around the world. As the day approaches closer, I've been thinking about how this day relates to me. I am truly grateful to be living in times where women have the right to choose. I've been raised in a family where gender equality was taken for granted and good education was a must for all. I've also been lucky enough to have never experienced gender bias at work. So, from my perspective, I think we've come a long way from fighting for the right to vote in early 1900s to today.

As I look around today, I see all these super-women juggling their work-home balance and trying hard to excel on both fronts. My mother often refers to this as "a candle burning on both ends". This makes me feel like the fight for equality has moved from the outside world to a woman's self-imposed moral obligations. In today's world, it is very rare that your male boss would expect you to do less work because you are a woman and raising a family. But, social pressures would make you toil harder on your home and family front. So, where is all this social pressure coming from? I believe it is more from all the women in society than the men.

If a woman with a successful career happens to miss a school function - no man would raise an eyebrow. But, there will definitely be a woman criticizing this as pure neglect and selfishness. If a busy woman hires a cook, before another man notices -- there will be 10 women disapproving this as wrong prioritization. If a mother had to take up a long business trip, there will be women doing a "tsk tsk". So, why are women so hard on fellow women? Why are women so judgemental about how a woman performs on her home front? I strongly believe that every woman becomes an awesome mother and considers family to be dear - and I think most women believe that as well. Then, why can't we as women have more faith on other women? We need to give each other a break. I believe in today's world, true women's day would be not when we have convinced every man about equal rights, but when we have convinced every woman to appreciate other women. It's high time that we allow each other to think about oneself once in a while and stop being critical.

Complaint free zone

Have you ever felt like you are surrounded by all unhappy folks? Recently, I had this overwhelming feeling that wherever I went, there were complaints and more complaints. Married friends complaining about their spouses - unmarried ones complaining about being single. Employed people grumbling about insane work hours, while unemployed ones tired with their mundane life.  Complaints about family, health, colleagues, managers were galore! In addition, there is the favorite complaint about weight loss. Everyone I was around seemed to be unhappy about something...

Weighed down by the world's grievances and resentment (along with a whole bunch of my own), I decided to join Yoga. I entered the class and on the entrance lay a sign: "Namaste, you have now entered a complaint free zone." The idea was so radical -- a complaint free zone?? Was that really possible? As I continued the class, the idea started growing on me. It seemed so simple, yet so illusive.  You come to a place where there were no self expectations, no self ego and no competition. You listened to your body and accepted yourself for what you were. You appreciated the life in you and reached a place where there were no complaints anymore.

Filled with my new found state of nirvana, I came home and told my husband all about my reinvigorating experience. I told him how much at peace I felt suddenly. I went on by telling him that he should also come with me instead of his regular gym routine. I thought we anyways did not spend enough time with each other. My husband just smiled and gave me a knowing look and ironically said - "Stop Complaining". 

What day are you?

You are lazy, an absolute slow starter

You dampen moods and dwindle fun chatter

You are avoided in every which way

You are my friend -- the dreaded Monday!

Life is a routine with nothing new

No highs, no lows, no surprises for you

You have nothing about yourself to say

C'mon get a life -- you are the lackadaisical Tuesday!

The glass is always half empty to you

You make everyone realize how much they still have to do

You groan and complain - but you cannot get away

Pull up your socks - you are the sulky Wednesday!

You are responsible, you get stuff done

You're Mr Thursday - the dependable one

You give people energy and reason to hope and pray

You put a smile on every face - you are the optimistic Friday!

They all wanna party with you and wish you never leave

You are the all-cure Saturday in whom all believe

You let everyone be themselves with your comfortable way

We all love you -- you lets us relax, you are Sunday!

So, if you are a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday  person

Remember your week will never have a fun day

Try becoming a Friday, Saturday,  Sunday person

And everyday is like a holiday!!

Best phase of life?

A few years back, during my first summer vacation in college, I visited my eldest cousin sister and brother-in-law (jijaji). In the midst of our chit-chat, my jijaji asked us: "What do you think is the best phase of your life?". Pat came my reply that school days were the best part. You are a kid and you are pampered and life is so carefree. To this, another cousin, who had been working for a couple of years replied "No - definitely college days are better. You don't HAVE TO attend classes and plus it is so much more fun". Jijaji smiled and said that we answered just the way he had anticipated. We always look back at our past life and think that was so much better than what we currently have when the best phase is always the current one and we should realize that when we are living it.

To this day, whenever I get nostalgic about the past and complain about the present, I am hit by a flashback from that lazy summer afternoon.  I am then humbled into a realization that instead of yearning for the past, I need to live my present to the fullest. The best phase of my life is NOW because I still have it!

My advice on marriage

Recently a friend of mine got married. A couple of weeks back, he and his wife invited us for dinner. I wrote this poem for that occasion.

They say if love is like a dream

Then marriage is a wake up call

Take my advice: turn on the snooze

And let the dream go on...

They say if love makes the world go round

Then marriage gives you motion sickness

Take my advice: fasten your seat belt

And get ready for this roller coaster pace...

They say a marriage is a promise

Of a lifetime of togetherness

Take my advice: get away often

And stick to each other a lil less..

They say in a marriage

Never go to bed mad at night

Take my advice: stay up till dawn

And finish up your fight..

They say marriage is easy

But housekeeping is hard

Take my advice: hire a maid

And a billion quarrels will retard..

I've been married for some time now

And it's still a big mystery

Take my advice: do what you enjoy together

And don't listen to me!

My Generation Desi

I completed my HSC (or 12th grade) in the late 1990's and I consider anyone plus or minus 2-3 years from my batch to be a "My Generation Desi" - hereafter referred to as MGD. [By the way, I am aware that I've now managed to disclose my age - you can do the math I guess.]

I can easily detect a MGD when I meet one. Following are the top traits:

Disclaimer: I've met more Pune/Mumbai MGDs that any others, so this may be skewed :-)

The Andaz Apna Apna effect

Andaz Apna Apna for MGDs released at a time when we were old enough to watch movies on our own, but young enough to have all the time in the world to watch it a million times and mug up every single dialogue. So MGDs cannot help but connect every real life situation to a dialogue from the movie. Whenever I go to birthday parties and someone comments: "Tumhari b'day hain... tum lo", I know I've spotted a true MGD.  Fellow MGDs will invariably laugh at the same joke every year, leaving all the non-MGDs with a confused look.

The Friends syndrome

Again, NBC's Friends hit Indian TV channels at a time when most MGDs were getting their graduate degree and hence had all the time in the world to first watch Friends and then discuss it repeatedly with fellow MGDs. Every single one of us relates to atleast one of the Friends' character. We hence in a bid to emulate, like hanging out with our friends doing nothing but chatting and plus, if we are doing that at a coffee place, that's the icing on the cake!

Laughter is the best medicine and laughing at someone else's expense is panacea

So, we all enjoy laughing at others - but I believe this trait is heightened in MGDs.  A true MGD would not be found laughing harder than when he is laughing at someone else. I have no explanations as to why this is more evident in MGDs - but I do know that it is something that has caught on with the whole generation.

To be continued..